Monday, October 10, 2011

Poetry in Motion

Leigh and Bransford Badgers - Poetry in Motion

Before I kick off with the round-up of this week’s victory. It has been brought to my attention by a reputable source that there was an insidious plan by St’Johns to ‘take-out’ our strikers. Two of the Saint’s defenders were heard chatting before the match…’I’ll be earning a red card today trying stopping them!’ 

Could this be...

Lads…In your dreams…
You think you can stop James ‘Like a bullet from a gun’ Henry and Jacob’ Faster than the speed of light’ Gillibrand? You have about as much chance as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest…
Rovers 5 - St Johns 3…read it and weep.

So, to the game…

Some brilliant passing from kick-off involving Liam ‘To you then’ Woods, Ben ‘to me then’ James and Jacob ‘to you then’ Gillibrand followed by a further master class in accuracy from Dan – Ben – Matty – Jacob leading to a shot from James. Saint’s counter with an over the bar header. The pressure continues to be applied by Rovers with guess who??…Jacob and James ‘The Shearer and Sherringham of L&B Rovers’ attacking again and this time winning a corner. Jacob just missing the goal with a header. Mind you, not all the strong and stylish play was taking place up front. As expected when Ally ‘One of these days I will score with my drop kick’ Ching kicks the ball it stays kicked…Saint’s try to clear but bump into Matthew ‘The Wall ‘ Skipper who charges the ball down allowing Alfie ‘turns on a sixpence’ Newman to through-ball to James who just misses. Unfortunately, Saint’s take the lead with a rather lucky piece of work but this doesn’t last long as Ally produces another huge drop kick which James neatly controls and slots into the back of the Saint’s net.

At this point Russ has a problem with some wildlife. It appears that a very large squirrel kidnapped the ball thinking it was a large hazelnut and would not hand it back until Russ asked nicely…

Russ under pressure


Meanwhile back on the pitch James was sent flying…the nearest Saint’s came to carrying out their cunning plans…and Matty ‘that was inches away’ Griffin’s free kick went just over the bar. A pretty good goal from Saint’s (it pains me to say it…). In the dying seconds of the first half Matt ‘I’ve thought long and hard about this’ Skipper laid a perfect long-ball in to Jacob’s path but is saved by Dexy in the Saint’s goal (Nice kid Dexy…used to play for Rovers you know…).

Half time and a well-earned drink for our brave lads.

Second half underway with Rovers defence having a busy time but with Luke, Arron, Josh and Liam killing any momentum, build up from Saint’s is stopped and Ally puts in yet another great save. Legendary keepers of our time…

Though-balls seem to be the Rovers speciality these days…this time one provided by Dan ‘get on the end of that one’ Thomson for Richard ‘I going to bury this’ Stevens to have a punt and finally put away by Jacob. All square again, but not for long, another strike from Saint’s has them in the lead again. 3 – 2 down?…this is not a problem for Rovers. Another just wide free kick from Matty has the Saint’s defence in panic. It’s soon all square as more pressure is applied leading to Jacob picking the ball up just over halfway…he’s past one, he’s past two, he’s past three and then unleashes a ‘Halley’s comet’ of a shot straight past a flailing keeper. A shot that leaves fire in its wake…

Jacobs Comet
Jacob's Comet
That’s about it from Saint’s. The defensive barricade put up by Arron ‘that number 10 is not getting past me’ Manton, Luke ‘The steadfast’ Painter, Josh ‘There’s no getting past me’ Hall and Liam ‘just relax, it’s all under control’ Woods is unbeatable. The midfield is running rings around them and the strikers have only just started. The Saint’s coaches are left clueless and rather loud…steady lads! Shouting and heckling gets you nowhere…

Waldorf and Stadler
'Bring on the Frog!'

and the squirrel has decided that he will utterly baffle the Saint’s coaches and keep the ball in his tree whilst making rude gestures at them from a convenient branch. Life can be tough when you are under pressure…

Nasty Squirrel
After some persuasion the squirrel gives up the ball which lands close to James who dribbles (in a good way) past most of the Saint’s defence and pokes it straight into the back of the net. All Rovers now - with runs up the wing from Connor ‘Catch me if you can’ Porter-Brown and Ben ‘You think Wales can only play rugby?’ James ending with Matty who...guess what? provides another through-ball to James and another goal.
It’s all desperation now from Saint’s as they even bring on the ice-cream van (sneaky) in a hope of breaking the Rovers concentration. It almost works but Ally is there to save the day…again
And that’s it; the crowd are on the pitch. Martin, Mandy and Russ sum up this afternoons achievement…

A happy ending

Well done lads!

Well done lads!

Man of the match was James for his hat-trick and this week mention in despatches goes to Russ (for keeping calm), Mandy (for having a tear in her eye to see her boys win) and to Martyn (for doing a very credible impression of General Patton).

Elvis has left the pitch


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