Monday, November 28, 2011

Goalkeeper fumble of the Week

Leigh and Bransford Badgers - Goalkeeper fumble of the week!

Harry Hill

It was cold this Sunday, very cold…in fact if you will humour me for a moment it was colder than a polar bears missed wedding anniversary. A deathly, chill wind blew off the Kidderminster tundra and as the light faded the inmates of the Brick Fields gulag could be heard complaining that McDonalds was closed over the mournful howling of the wolves (Well they did lose 3 – 0 on Saturday...). Consider the scene well and truly set…

A cold training session
The Rovers pause during their warm up at Perdiswell

Before kick-off however it was noticed that the Warndon ground-staff might have had one or two libations, for medicinal purposes only of course, during the lunch break…unless it was a cunning plan to allow a certain amount of ‘flexibility’ regarding throw-in calls.

Too many beers at lunchtime

Once we had the issues regarding the wrong ball size (nasty) and having two balls on the pitch at the same time sorted out we could finally get on with playing the game.

From very early on it seemed that Alfie ‘I am Spartacus’ Newman was keen to stamp some authority on the game. He showed some brilliant skill early on in combination with Jacob and James 'the bananas and custard' of L&B Badgers Rovers that ended with a corner to Rovers. Unfortunately nothing came of the short-corner tactic. The defence meanwhile were showing their usual determination marshaled by Liam 'Cool hand' Wood and supported by Luke 'Who is this Jack Charlton bloke anyway?' Painter, Dan 'The Beast is here again' Watson, Dan 'Ice cold...literally' Thomson, Arron 'they're scared of me I can tell' Manton and Ben 'Tackle me if you dare' James. One attack did get past them but a brilliant diversionary tactic by Connor 'I can drop kick as far as Ali' Porter-Brown left the Coyotes dazed and confused.  

Crafty Conor

More strong attacking play was  provided by the Rovers in the shape of Alfie ‘that man again’ Newman,  and the other usual suspects of James, Jacob and Liam. James being brought down and allowing Luke to drop a free kick straight to Alfie’s feet for a shot…just wide.

At this point we noticed a celebrity appearance on the Coyotes team. Peter Kay appeared on the touch lie and with a yell of ‘ave it! skied the ball over the watching supporters. Thanks Pete…Did you know that ‘garlic bread is the future’?  and what about ‘sherbert dips’ eh? eh?... I loved them when I was a kid back in Bolton…yawn

Peter Who?
Peter Who?

Another poor opponent tried to take on Dan’ The Beast’ Watson again with the usual results. One day little Dan’s reputation will precede him and attackers will quake in their Nikes when they see him charging towards them. Anyway back to the fun…Matty 'Rocket boot' Griffo is back in action laying the ball neatly through to Liam who then pushes a beautifully accurate pass to Jacob who is just wide. This is not a repeat of last week is it?

The things I have to do
Come on boys!
(Is that better Russ? Mandy? The things I have to do to keep  everyone happy...)
I did notice that if you had been standing over the pitch at this moment in time the scene would have looked like a punctuated ‘O’ with both teams within a 20 foot radius of the centre circle..Ah old fashioned football at it’s best.

Meanwhile the Beast is using his head (literally) and Arron and Ben are keeping Connor's work to a minimum. It’s all good end to end stuff but the Rovers attacks seem to all come from Liam ‘Olympic standard’ Woods’ throw-ins.

The Rovers attack is keeping Coyotes busy with James, Jacob, Matty G and the obligatory Alfie running rings around their defence with some lovely accurate passing. Alfie in particular has his shooting boots on but not quite his scoring boots as he passes one, two , three defenders and shoots again. Jacob was doing his bit as usual in keeping the opposition defence busy with a long, long run out of his own half that nearly ends with a goal, just being denied by a rather panicky kick from the Coyotes keeper. Matty G is in on the action with a free kick that lands just out of the reach of Alfie. Jacob hits the post after a great through-ball from Luke, Alfie shoots again from a Matty G corner, James has a punt as well and finally Ben has a go from distance…but, nothing doing. We should be at least 10 up by now…

Fish in a barrel
This is how easy scoring should be...
So, to the second half. Inspired by Alfie during the first half Dan T has a go at outwitting three defenders on his own and with support from Arron and Matty G gets a through-ball away to James. Coyotes under pressure now and Will ‘Ready for action again’ Swiers (Welcome back Will) tries to inflict the coup-de-grace but his shot is gathered by the keeper. The ball is back in the Rovers half now but Connor gathers it safely. He then unleashes and almost Ali-like drop kick (I told you!...Connor) straight to Jacob, who frees Will, who in turn feeds James but the shot is just wide. It’s Coyotes turn again and this time it’s Arron, Liam, Dan T and Luke who sort it all out. Another long ball from Will leads to another chance from James but it’s wide again…Ahhhhh. More shots pepper the area around the Coyotes goal but strikes from Jacob, James, Alfie and pressure applied to the keeper by Alfie, Dan T and Will still give no results. 

And now it's time for...

No need to fight
No need for a FIGHT! It's gone in!

Fumble of the week

Finally! Matty G hammers a free kick at the Coyotes goal and the shot is too hot for the keeper to handle. James is there like a shot and buries the ball in the back of the net.

Rovers have a taste for glory now with a fantastic scissor kick from Liam, another shot each for Alfie and James and a brilliant lob at distance from Will leading to another fumble by the Coyotes keeper. And as the sun dips below the dreaming spires of Perdiswell Leisure Centre the whistle sings it’s shrill siren call (I’m sure a literary prize awaits…somewhere) it’s all over. A strong performance from our chaps again. Remember, you’re a team and you must work together... if you make any comments to your team mates make sure they are positive as you have enough to worry about with the opposition. If all else fails…silence is your friend.

Liam was deservedly nominated man of the match for his usual leadership, work rate, tenacity and skill on the ball.


This week’s mention in dispatches goes to Alfie for a great match. You will get the goals you deserve mate just keep trying.

Before I sign-off this week we had a visit from Gok Wan who decided that the Rovers team strip needed a few 'accessories'. Here is Arron 'it's cold out here' Mantonovich modelling next years 'deepest Russia' inspired outfit...

Arron Mantonovich
Nice hat...

It’s grim up north...


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